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In Memory of Gavi
Below
is my tribute to a dear friend and Bastard activist,
Gavriela
Maxime Ze'eva Person,
who died on August 10, 1997. Gavi contributed "Ghosts"
to Voices of Adoption before her untimely death.
Only
Gavi could find the words to define herself and redefine herself if
she wants. Her memory deserves far more eloquence than words I
can conjure here. Whatever description I could personally come
up with will certainly pale.
Gavi, one of Bastard Nation's founding foundlings, gifted us with
dark, disturbing humor which shaped Bastard Nation into more
than just an activist group, but a movement with soul and
humor.
Gavi made us laugh, and made the uncomfortable comfortable and
funny.
She was a contradiction. Gavi embraced her birth heritage while
being resolved against searching. Her stories about herself
and her whole being was contradictory, on purpose. Perhaps it
was her way to emphasize the secrets and lies we live under, or
perhaps it is to confuse the demons inside her.
She was an intellectual, an artist and a poet, and her words gush
out and grab you, like the name, Bastard Nation. Her words
disturbing, raw, ribald, and honest.
Gavi loved her bastards.
She truly wanted us to peel off onion-like layers of ourselves in
order for us to get closer to each other, like kin. Often, she
would not understand how folks couldn't open up and expose
themselves in the manner that she did.
Her nature was maternal, at a drop of a hat she would make sure you
would eat a huge country breakfast, and would also offer words of
healing. At the same time, she was a little sister, who we
worried about and felt helpless in times when her illness would spin
her out of control.
Gavi was the Magdalen and Moses of BN. She danced with ghosts. She
danced with her Jewish and Irish ancestors and connected with
their sorrows and injustices inflicted upon them. She danced
with her Bastardy. Gavi was the ultimate bastard living celebrating
the shame and speaking of feelings and thoughts that many of us were
afraid to utter or think, until she made it okay.
She was this warm tropical storm that would roll in to mix things
up, challenge us, and make us laugh or cry. Sometimes the
storm was pleasant, and sometimes it would get out of control.
Who would think that this force of nature would cease to return
after one of her many absences?
Many of us now, who felt overwhelmed by her last storm, would do
anything to have her storm crash upon us again, because we
want her back.
Bitterly and sadly, all our second-guesses, regrets, things not said
or done will not bring her back to us. That truth stings and
hurts like hell. We are going to mourn and mourn her well.
In our mourning, we should celebrate how she spent her short life
she had here. By being a creator, she gifted us with a way to
keep her near. Gavi will be with us every time we put on the
BN T-shirt, laugh about something dark and painful, and develop a
bond with a fellow bastard.
We should feel good about who we are. This magnificent woman chose
us to give over her heart, passion, and talent to. A spirit
like that chose Bastard Nation as home, if only for a short
time. She called this home and she called us brethren. This fact
offers me great joy, pride, and solace.
Shalom and Requiescat en Pace, my dear Gavi.
We will miss you well.
Deni
Wed, 3 Sep 1997 14:48:07
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